OK, so by now if you cruised through the InnerMederi website you are probably familiar with the Circle of Life. One slice of that pie is Home Environment. We all have different and unique tastes and desires. The aesthetics and the energy in my surrounding have always been a key part of who I am (I am pretty sure it is also a “Libra” thing). Some people simply don’t care about “things” as long as they are practical and serve the purpose - a chair to sit, a table to eat, a bed for sleep.
As promised, through my own roller coaster ride, in this blog I will show you how I discovered the connection between my home and my well-being. So, buckle up.
After I divorced the father of my beautiful red-headed daughter (this is a story for a whole different blog), I sold my house and bought a new one which I gutted and remodeled just the way I wanted it. I created, from scratch, a fantastic and lush butterfly and hummingbird garden. The kitchen is glorious – just right for my kind of cooking needs and the showers are heavenly. Everyone who walks in compliments me on the light, the aroma (Icelandic Moonflower diffusers by Red Flower – a sense of euphoria), the energy, and the aesthetics of the house. It is beautiful, spacious, minimalistic (I can’t survive in clutter), and flowy. Mainly, it is a showcase of who I am! I call it my FREEDOM house.
Not long after the move into my awesome newly remodeled home, along came Joe - the love of my life. Joe is perfect for me in almost every way. He matched my "vision board" of what I was looking for in the man who would finally steal my heart. I wrote a lot of wants and needs in this vision book/board: calm, serene, friendly, kind, loves social interactions but not a social butterfly, a profession that satisfies him and gives him financial freedom. Someone who enjoys life but is responsible, loves to travel, generous, strong physical connection, smells good, loves kids, funny and witty, comes from a solid family, and much more… There is one thing I did not ask nor think to include, and that was a similar aesthetics taste. We could not be more different when it comes to home décor.
When our relationship matured enough to discuss co-habituating, it was clear that I would need to move to his place and leave mine behind. His house is bigger-better-newer! I should feel extremely fortunate living in a house I could only dream of as a kid and as a young adult – huge, pool, mountain views, up-scale neighborhood… truly the American dream. BUT… there were three major obstacles:
1. Ex-wife and ex-girlfriend lived there before me.
2. Too ornate for a girl who loves clean, minimalistic gray and white… I used to call his house “fifty shades of brown...”
3. Too many things, too much clutter.
I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but it wasn’t my home. We did talk about plans to change things so I would have some of my identity in the house, but it was all in the future…
Slowly, and gradually, yet it seems as if suddenly, I gained weight (over a period of 18 months). My peak was November 2019 - my pregnancy weight without being pregnant! Yikes. (Since I am tall, I did manage to hide well... I think…)
My diet is clean. Real clean. I am an avid Peloton rider. I am a healthy person. My weight usually fluctuates within a normal range of 5-7 pounds… not 20! Nutrition and physical activity are only 2 slices of pie. There must have been something that I was missing.
My family doctor ran blood tests – pristine. My OBGYN ran blood tests – pristine. Am I crazy?
My frustration (and my body) just grew bigger and bigger, affecting my self-esteem and my mood. There was no obvious explanation.
Until one day it clicked. It was after a consult with an exercise physiologist, who checked many factors. She agreed that I am a very healthy person, but, indeed, I need to lose the weight I gained. She insisted that there had to be an underlying emotional element. Here I am, never been happier in my life, how could it be emotional? Eureka! It’s the house!
The weight gain began right after I moved in, it was all in sync, it all suddenly made sense. Being a spiritual person and believing in vibrations, I got it, I knew this was the answer. There was no doubt in my mind, even if Joe or other people raised a brow. The heaviness of the house and the elements that weren’t my identity presented themselves in my body.
My amazing partner in this journey, who didn't understand this connection, being the engineer that he is (no disrespect, just different language, and wiring of the brain), saw my pain and frustration and agreed to speed up the process of changes around the house. I also received a healing session to help my body be in harmony with my surroundings as much as possible. My incredible healer, whose work I hope to showcase in later blogs, also provided me with a couple of tools to help me when I felt frustrated and suffocated.
See, I don't like ‘things’ and I can easily leave ‘things’ behind, as I have no attachments to them or at least only to a very few, so far in my life. The things I do have around me…. I need them to represent who I am.
The same weekend of the big aha moment, Joe and I went to different stores just to get some ideas. Lo and behold, even without yet changing anything, I dropped 3 pounds. This was just the beginning.
Since then we've made huge progress. We are not finished yet, and it is not always smooth, but it is constant progress, and the combination of feeling heard, addressing my needs, donating and selling items and replacing them with items we both like, or simply just clearing out some clutter, made the change. I’ve dropped 25 pounds since November, I am feeling great and I’m myself again. I am at home! I assure you that my diet and exercise routine have not changed!
If something simply deep inside doesn’t feel right, don’t listen to outside noises and buzz. You are your own expert. If you tune in, you’ll find the answers.
I bet you are on the edge of your seat, asking yourself, “What happened to her freedom house?” Well… I won’t leave you in suspense. We are now proud owners of a fantastic Airbnb. We get to share this love with the rest of the world.
Inhale love and exhale gratitude,
e.